Moblog

I begin this blog with no relevant thought processes occurring. No synapses fired to make me want to do this, however there are a few things I would like to get on paper, (or bytes or whatever).

I just finished talking to a good friend of mine about his relationships, and how I hoped that when he was old I hoped that he had someone to share it with rather than spending his life alone wishing he had settled down. Clever boy that he is, he came back at me with a Fitzgerald quote: "It was always the becoming he dreamed of, never the being." And at first I didn't really get it, but now I see the true meaning behind it. It's a matter of success vs. happiness. It's like those cheesy motivational posters that taunt you with wise sayings you never really understand until you actually get bored enough to think of what they're trying to tell you. "It's not about the destination, it's about the journey." As far as I can tell what this poster is trying to tell me is to "Live in the now." And yet, there is mention of a destination. So what I think the makers of this poster were really getting at is "Have a goal, but have fun getting there." Because if you simply live in the moment entirely, then the moment catches you and pulls you into the undertow, and you'll end up somewhere in an alley scrounging for your next fix... It's a balancing act of living for happiness and living for HAPPINESS; the latter being the eventual success and happiness that comes with that success, while the former represents the happiness you achieve when you eat a really large cup of ice cream. So for the most part, I think I've got this whole business under control. I do have a goal, and I plan on reaching that goal, but I'm not too worried about how I'm going to get there and how long it will take and what kind of connections I will make before I get there. It doesn't really matter as long as I DO get there, and that I enjoy the journey along the way.

On that subject, I would like to congratulate someone in my life for seeing through the moment and grasping onto a future that has always been sort of dangling in front of her. I won't name names, but this someone has managed to pull herself out from the ruins and made something good from it all. In fact, I'd say I know two people in that exact situation. One who's already made it to her destination, and the other who plans on embarking on this journey with me.

On another subject entirely, check this shit out, it will make your fucking day: http://www.drtoast.com/departments/toast-news

Going to bed in the wee hours of the morning again (aka fucking my life over), I'm signing off.
Dear World, I love you.

Do you remember?

Do you remember,
when I told you not to fuck with me?
Do you remember,
when I made it clear this isn't just a game?

Do you remember,
When you agreed with me all the time?
Do you remember,
When it seemed like all we had was right?

Do you remember,
Falling asleep to each other's breathing
Do you remember,
Those dreams you used to have?

Do you remember,
Laughing at everything we had in common
Do you remember,
The way we could talk about anything?

Do you remember,
The way you made me feel
Do you remember,
Avoiding me like the plague?

Do you remember,
The day you broke my world apart?
Do you remember,
Telling me I wanted more than I could have?

Do you remember,
The desperate way I clung to you?
Do you remember,
The tears I shed over you?

Do you care,
How much you still mean to me?
Do you even give a shit,
That you're killing me?

Do you remember,
That this is not just a game.
Do you remember,
That I would never fall for you again?